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OOC: Heads-up

1st Jul 2005 | 01:53 pm
mood: busy

My pups and I will be scarce to nonexistent for the next... oh, month and a half, about. I'm spending nearly all of July and much of August studying abroad, but I'm going to be leaving a week early so I've got some time to travel on my own. Not leaving until Tuesday, but this weekend is looking to be really busy, with the family wanting to cram in a bit more time and some friends having just announced that they're having a going-away party for me, to say nothing of last-minute errands, packing, etc.

So, shall be around -- the hotel in London has 'net access (and I'm bringing my laptop), and I know the friends I'm staying with do, because I met them via lj -- but very scarce, as, well, I'll be doing things! Starting the tenth, I'll have access on a regular basis again, in Cambridge, but not in the dorm room I'll be staying in, and I don't know how heavy the workload is going to be, so I don't want to make any promises.

Thanks for the patience. Take care of yourselves and stay beautiful!

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The most difficult obstacle I've ever faced?

30th Jun 2005 | 11:24 pm

Puberty.

Or the forty days I spent in the desert, waiting for my father to speak to me.

Not going to Maggie that night, but sending Biff in my place.

Learning to be a stonecutter.

Or coming back when I faded away at the monastery, understanding that the bliss I had touched was not to be mine, not until all the souls of earth had achieved it first.

Teaching an elephant yoga.

Sending Judas to set it all in motion, to tell the Romans.

I do not name these things as a show of strength or achievement. I name them to show one thing -- that all things are difficult, but at the same time, all things are easy. Many things, when I encountered them, were difficult. Monumental, insurmountable.

And yet I did surmount them.

One cannot worry, one cannot fear. One must only be, and do. And so, all things are difficult, and all things are easy, because they are both and they are neither.

Or, you know. Maybe it was puberty after all.
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A reading.

26th Jun 2005 | 09:51 pm
mood: exhaustedexhausted

This is popular at Quaker funerals. It's nice, isn't it? Very true, and very simple. Kind of like them, now that I think of it. *laughs*

And this is the Comfort of the Good,
that the grave cannot hold them,
and that they live as soon as they die.
For Death is no more
than a turning of us over from time to eternity.
Death, then, being the way and condition of Life,
we cannot love to live,
if we cannot bear to die.

They that love beyond the World, cannot be separated by it.
Death cannot kill what never dies.
Nor can Spirits ever be divided
that love and live in the same Divine Principle,
the Root and Record of their Friendship.
If Absence be not death, neither is theirs.

Death is but Crossing the World, as Friends do the Seas...


William Penn, 1693

ooc: A friend died a year ago today. In her memory, you know? It's a favorite of mine, and she'd've liked it a lot.

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Oh, good.

22nd Jun 2005 | 03:46 pm
mood: amusedamused

*laughs happily*

Apparently I'm not going to Hell proper.Collapse )

That's a relief.
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War.

22nd Jun 2005 | 12:30 am
mood: pensivepensive

"Never think that war, no matter how necessary, no matter how justified, is not a crime." -- Ernest Hemingway

And all criminals will, eventually, be held accountable for their crimes. Perhaps the laws of the land will excuse you who make war, but there is one authority from whom they cannot hide. Make your excuses to the people, your empty excuses that you think will wash away the blood that stains your hands, but one day, you will face a judge who can see through them.

Hope, then, that that judge will be merciful as you, the Presidents and Princes and the rulers of men, have not been.

Those men who devote more to war than to healing -- it is not my job to see them destroyed now. Render unto Caesar, and all.

But make no mistake, when you value death above life, when you value war above healing, it will be remembered, and you can only hope that God will show you the mercy that you never bothered to show other people.

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Meme from orlandomuse.

17th Jun 2005 | 10:39 pm
mood: amusedamused

What Will Be Your Overly Melodramatic Death?
by Celaeno
Name:
Gender:
Are you beautiful?
Your death:Guillotined, after taking a friend's place so that the friend can run off and marry your own true love.
Your parting words:"... Whoops..."
Quiz created with MemeGen!


My best friends were in love, though. And if I weren't celibate, I would've probably married Maggie. So, no, it's not really right... but it's eerily close in its wrongness. I think that ought to count for something, you know?

That says "physical beauty is a sign of attachment to the physical plane. and no, I'm a scrawny brown guy," by the way.
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challenge: when in your life did you feel most alone?

17th Jun 2005 | 10:25 pm

When you have to save the world... you're pretty much always alone. I've learnt that.

There was the night Biff was with Maggie. The night before her wedding.

The time I spent in the mountains in Tibet, with the yeti. The things that he showed me, told me in his language. How the hunters slaughtered his kind, and they were so peaceful and gentle that they couldn't understand it, couldn't understand the cruelty of men.

The forty days in the desert, waiting for my father to speak to me.

The hours I spent on the cross.

In some ways, I've never really been alone. I've been a part of the universe, connected in ways that I only wish everyone else could be. Ways that I'm actually supposed to teach everyone else to be. *smiles*

But in other ways -- knowing that I must stay, that that's the job I've chosen. Bodhisattva is the word, one who could achieve enlightenment and leave this sphere of existence, leave earthly things behind, transcend, but who chooses not to. Who waits until all other men have gone before him, until he has helped the rest of humanity there first. Knowing that --

In some ways, I have never really known what it is to not be alone.

Protector, teacher...

It's a lonely business, saving the world.

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From a few different people.

16th Jun 2005 | 02:34 pm
mood: amusedamused

Comment here with your name and I'll tell you something I adore (or at least mildly like) about you.

Then you do the same... you know the drill.
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Meme!

15th Jun 2005 | 07:27 pm
mood: curiouscurious

Reply to this post. In this reply, ask me any number of questions. Any number, as awkward or embarrassing as you like, absolutely anything at all. I promise to answer every question in complete honesty. Anything you want to know about me, and all you have to do is ask it today (okay, maybe not just today).

ooc: Keep in mind there might (probably WILL) be delays -- that will probably be the case for the next month and a half, more or less; I'm extremely busy right now, and will be out of the country for pretty much all of July and most of August. Shall have some access, but not nearly as much as I've got now, and it'll be a pretty rigorous academic trip, not a holiday, so I'm going to be busy. I'd mentioned it over on straying_thread, but I just wanted to be sure everyone got a heads-up. I'll be playing, but progress will be slow -- I'll be tagging only a couple of times a day, and I'm simply not going to be able to get to everyone immediately.
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Desires.

11th Jun 2005 | 02:01 am
mood: guiltyguilty

There is -- there is a way to hide these, apparently. Make it so that only I can see them, or only a few.

But I shouldn't.

That I never knew desire -- that's a myth. I became enlightened, certainly, and freedom from desire was a part of that. But before that -- oh, I desired. *laughs drily* Believe me, I desired my ass off. I was a teenager, what do you expect? Of course I desired.

I was thirteen when I set out from Nazareth to learn what I needed to know to do the work my father had appointed me to. That sounds young, now, I think. But it wasn't then. If we had stayed, we would have been married before long.

We. Biff came with me, of course.

It was nighttime. Biff and I were leaving the next day. Maggie was getting married the next day. That wasn't a coincidence.

We loved her. We both did. And she -- she loved us both, but we both knew that it was me she was in love with.

She told me to meet her in the olive grove near her father's home that night.

I sent Biff in my place. If he had spoken much, she would've known it wasn't me. But -- as I guessed, there wasn't much that was said between them. We were about the same height, the same build. Same hair, of course. In the darkness, she didn't know.

I wanted to be there. I wanted to be there with everything that I was. I spent forty days in the desert, alone, talking to my father, demanding answers. Satan came to me, offered me riches, women, food. Nothing that he offered me made me burn like the thought of Biff and Maggie did. Nothing.

My father would have forgiven me, I imagine. If I'd gone. But I don't know if I'd have forgiven myself. And if I'd gone -- I never would have wanted to leave. Or I wouldn't have left without Maggie. We'd've brought her with us, along the Silk Road, or we'd've stayed, and ruined her wedding. And her father would've gone back to prison...

I would have still become what I had to be, I think. But I would have destroyed Maggie's life. And her family's. And probably Biff's, as well. And I imagine that the three of us -- because that's what I think of, when I think of it, that's what made me burn, not the thought of Maggie alone, but of them both -- oh, that certainly would've been an abomination under the Law. *laughs a little* I'd've been stoned, we all would have. Before I ever got the chance to be what I was meant to be.

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